What Job Should Vampire Diaries’ Rebekah Do If She Becomes Human?

Rebekah (Claire Holt) came thisclose to getting the cure on Season 4, Episode 18 of The Vampire Diaries, “American Gothic”. Even though she got robbed again (Katherine! fist shake!) she doesn’t seem to be wavering at all in her dedication to becoming human again. We get it! She wants a normal life, she wants to grow old, she wants to hear the pitter-patter of little mini-Rebekah feet.


That’s all well and good, but we can’t stop thinking about the logistics of all this. How do you explain why mommy knows so much about the Black Plague, or why none of your uncles are ever, ever, ever allowed to visit? But most importantly, what is Rebekah going to do? She’ll be cut off from the compulsion, which we can only assume is the source of all vampires’ inexplicable and impressive wealth. Maybe Rebekah has invested wisely, but just in case, we’ve put together a list of career options we think she should look into if and when she becomes human. Good luck!

Here are some suggestions...



Rebekah Could Whip People Into Shape as a Personal Trainer
We imagine this OV is going to be hurting a little after losing that innate physical fitness that all immortals are gifted. She’ll never be able to achieve vamp-level strength again, of course, but a job that keeps her in tip-top shape would keep her feeling good and prepared for more ass-kicking.






Rebekah Would Do an Amazing Job as a Party Planner
She’s hyper-focused, she has experience with everything from formal balls to ‘80s theme dances, and she’s the only person in Mystic Falls who has ever out-planned Caroline (Candice Accola). That’s saying something.






Rebekah Could Try Being a Kindergarten Teacher
Kids are a pretty big part of why Rebs wants to regain her “alive” status, so maybe she should get a little real world experience with them. Though if she wants to go this route, we recommend a little pre-cure compelling to get some references in order.






Rebekah Would Make a Great Talent Agent
She’s been in the “ruthless wheeler-dealer” category for centuries now, so we think Rebekah could give the toughest agents out there a run for their money. Any actor worth their salt would want someone like Rebekah on their side if they had a contract to be negotiated. We just really, really wouldn’t want to be her assistant.






Rebekah Could Apply to Be a Waitress at the Grill
Matt (Zach Roerig) would probably get her the hook-up at Mystic Grill, right? He’d probably be so excited to have another human in town that he’d give her anything she wanted, compulsion-free!







Rebekah Could Use Her Skills to Be a PR Exec
Can’t you just see Rebekah wielding a clipboard, making guest lists and throwing people to the back of a velvet-roped line? We can. She may have lost her superhuman strength, but her bitch face is going to be in fine working order.