Happy Birthday to The Vampire Diaries’ Daniel Gillies!

[Take a look at his funniest tweets!!]

Daniel Gillies (Elijah) is a master tweeter. One-hundred-and-forty characters don’t limit The Vampire Diaries actor when he’s composing messages on Twitter. In honor of his birthday — the New Zealander is turning 37 today, March 14 — we decided to compile 20 of his best tweets from this year.
If you don’t already follow him on Twitter, stop reading and get on that immediately. If you don’t have a Twitter, create one and follow Daniel Gillies. Seriously, he’s that funny.
Warning: Some his tweets probably aren’t suitable for children of all ages, as he is, shall we say, ribald in his humor. Peek at your risk! Don’t blame us if he makes you blush!
Source: Daniel Gillies's Twitter.

Swear to God…That is the LAST TIME you take my virginity.
— DANIEL GILLIES (@danieljgillies) April 5, 2012

Tom Selleck: Stop making sex with my heart.
— DANIEL GILLIES (@danieljgillies) May 25, 2012

I’ve never been alone with the wax figure of Hugh Jackman at Madame Tussaud’s in London, but I’d do anything to create that opportunity.
— DANIEL GILLIES (@danieljgillies) June 27, 2012

Anthony Hopkins is my Spirit Hannibal.
— DANIEL GILLIES (@danieljgillies) June 27, 2012

.@davidblaine -- BRO!! Found the 7 of Diamonds in my sister Debbie's ultrasound!! Not my card, but WHATEVS!! #magic #uterus
— DANIEL GILLIES (@danieljgillies) July 11, 2012

'Her story checks out...' - Cop studying Shakira's hips through one-way glass.
— DANIEL GILLIES (@danieljgillies) July 18, 2012

Take a quote from your kid. Award it 'funny points'. Halve this total. Subtract 87. Divide it by Dear Jesus Stop. Leap from a moving train.
— DANIEL GILLIES (@danieljgillies) September 3, 2012

It’s obvious we’ll never master time-travel into the past. If we could, why has no one returned to erase Hitler/Crocs from our history?
— DANIEL GILLIES (@danieljgillies) September 3, 2012

you're obscenely overdressed to be reading my tweets.
— DANIEL GILLIES (@danieljgillies) October 15, 2012

i made a movie - brokenkingdomfilm.com
— DANIEL GILLIES (@danieljgillies) November 5, 2012

Although 'I'm going off the rails on a crazy-train!!' was not exactly a discreet cry for help, it nonetheless went tragically unheeded.
— DANIEL GILLIES (@danieljgillies) November 10, 2012

Is it weird that I've never seen a Twilight and yet I've named my buttocks Edward and Jacob?
— DANIEL GILLIES (@danieljgillies) November 16, 2012

Wow. Some lady just asked if she could ‘touch my bum’?!.Naturally I reprimanded her. (Scotty, my flithy, homeless butler is not a toy).
— DANIEL GILLIES (@danieljgillies) December 23, 2012

Sometimes I like to kid around with Wahlberg and throw dumb names at him like ‘Wahlburglar’,'Raiders of the Lost Mark', or 'Secret Husband'.
— DANIEL GILLIES (@danieljgillies) March 8, 2013

'Mind over Matt Damon' Would be a terrific game show and a tediously forgettable DVD extra about security detail on Bourne Ultimatum.
— DANIEL GILLIES (@danieljgillies) March 9, 2013